“When are you going to have kids?”

I wrote this post last year, and never hit publish. It's pretty raw, and I was going to edit it, but I decided to just let it be what it is. I know some will connect with it, so I decided to share.  

Sometimes I avoid social situations where I might see someone I haven’t seen in awhile. Inevitably, someone is going to ask the dreaded question. First when we were dating, it was “When are you going to get married?” (We dated for 4 years before we tied the knot—and when we did decide to do it, we flew to Vegas 5 days later.) After we got married, the question quickly became, “When are you going to have kids?”

If I’m being completely honest, I just don’t think this question is appropriate. Ever. It’s really no one’s business except the couples. You never know the couple’s story. Some have tried for years and are never lucky enough to conceive. Some have children but they die. Or get pregnant and miscarry.

Having a baby is a miracle. It seems to come easy for some. But for others, it isn’t. It’s hard. It’s full of heartache. It’s a long journey that has its many challenges, doubts, feelings of failures, etc. Asking someone “when are you going to have kids?” may seem like a harmless, conversation provoking question, but next time, think twice about it. It may be a question that brings up a lot of emotions and feelings of pain for someone.